Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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