I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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