Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize