Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Come on in and take your pants off
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