You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?