dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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