areolas are like halos for boobs.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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