actually, I'm a sock model
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize