when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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