I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
