we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize