She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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