Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Randomize