the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
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They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
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I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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