I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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