I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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