you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize