Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize