He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize