WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
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I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
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i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?