god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?