I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
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You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
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I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.