My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
