dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
