u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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