i already hear my dad disowning me
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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