champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
