We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
