So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
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It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
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He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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