Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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