in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
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