did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
