Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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