using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize