Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
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Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
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We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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