A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
