I think I am morally bankrupt
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
