Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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