Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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