A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
