just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
