So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize