Its about making memories worth repressing
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
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do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
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Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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