from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
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Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
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If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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