she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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