Me. At least after what I've been through.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize