my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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