You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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