this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does