i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...