I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.