Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
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Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
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I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?