It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
