I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize