The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
